my aspergers + nesting + ocd has made my life a living hell this last week. ben had a week off so we took that time to do our best to clean up some of this cluttery mess. its not that our home is gross or anything but before i moved in, ben was here alone, and he drives a truck most of the week so he doesn’t really have much time to clean and organize everything. this lead to MAJOR CLUTTER HELL all over the house. i’ve done what i could with it but he needed a place to store his tools, and his toys (his chainsaw collection). we rented a utility trailer. basically its one of those trailers you see being pulled down the road by a big truck, but this one is just parked in our yard. its huge and we can fit a lot of stuff in it. and ben can do work with his tools and all kinds of stuff. its ugly but i honestly don’t care how things look. as long as everything is safe for the kiddo i could care less if we have a trailer sitting there.
ben overworked himself dealing with all his stuff. i unfortunately can’t pick any of this stuff up so i’m pretty much useless during most of this work. i’ve tried my best to stay out of his way and help him sort though some things but i really do feel worthless because i cannot help more than i am.
and then the nesting impulse kicks in, and i am crying because its sunday, ben goes back to work tomorrow, and the baby’s room is not cleaned out yet… *rolls eyes at self* i hate this and i know its making ben miserable. the crying and not having things sorted leads to a melt down which leads to me shutting down for most of the day. my ocd kicks in and i just want to sort and stack everything into neat little piles and i feel ridiculous.
i am obviously not a glowing mother.